Hmm..

I've total gotten board of the Internet, seems there's only so much one can do of interest, hmmm... I've googled the Celts and Myspaced my dead friends, I've made a few videos and studied the art of video editing researched my family history and contemplated social interacting, still don't get the social interacting on the web a true friend to me is one I really know one who would and could babysit for my kids, I don't think I could know anyone on the web well enough to let them babysit my children trust with my money or anything of the sort with people that so easily could mask them selfs so there really isn't any real friendship there, I imagine most of the people are good people but I could never judge them well enough through a e-mail even a phone call, I still don't understand why people feel so close to others without being able to judge their facial expressions what they do how they treat people when their having a bad day. A while back I pissed off my best friend by saying something insensitive, it hurt her feelings naturally, she didn't call me for a day then she just forgave me, I don't really understand it but had this been an online friendship the ties would be cut forever, it's easy to let go of something not that important, something that doesn't affect you, someone you don't really know, could I ever real leave innocent children with someone that I only know on their terms someone that can cut off the computer when ever they don't wish to speak to me, what could they be hiding drug abuse petifiles insanity, I couldn't do it my children are too precious, it amazes me that so many people put their whole lives in the hands of strangers, when I can barely trust anyone on the internet past how's the weather, lol, I know their human and I try not to offend because they must have feelings and I know they take seriously the other people that talk to them, I don't understand the children that try to hurt others, I don't understand how hurting others in itself is pleasurable. I guess this is something I can never be and I can accept that I wanted to understand, but I can't act very well I like who I am and I don't feel like I need the approval of strangers, I've always been well liked by my peers well at home that is, but I've always had friends no matter where I was, so I don't understand being so lonely that I'd find more solace in chat room than a coffee shop. Accepting that I can't understand something is hard for me, I'm off on my other journey for now, Life real life and my spirituality is a big part of that for me and I know I see it all quite differently than others, I think of my spiritual path as my physical path what I do what I don't do who I talk too, what I make my success my career my education my charity, to me the calm and ingenuity of creation helps me to understand all the things around me, this week I made Mark a costume my older daughter a vest (to help her look cool) and my younger daughter a dress in her style that fits. I decorated my box for my bible which looks quite stuipd and girly now I really should redo that, and I've thought up a better idea for something to pass down to my children. I padded the top and bottom of my bible box but there's still room around the sides the family history is somewhat of an hairloom, I've done a dozen personal quilts, baby dresses and more, but it still seems I have little to pass on, so what I want to do is write in my times the year 2009 my spiritual interpretation on the books of the bible, 500 years ago people refused to believe the earth was round, two hundred years ago Christans thought god sat in the clouds above us, and pondered whether women had souls at all, today many still believe that the world was created in 7 days and a flood devoured the world. I, I am an intellect one who understands and believes the world of science even studies it, and yet I believe the miracles of Jesus, although I don't care about the magic of Jesus what so ever, I care about the words he spoke the teaching that I'm sure if followed correctly would lead to a happier life, don't much care what happens when one dies but I imagine it's much more like we are in this world and far less then we can imagine we are of this world. I'm not an typical enough Christian to go preaching to those who don't care and forcing it upon them, and I'm not a scared enough intellect to abandon my faith entirely for fear of what others may associate me with.